REPORT CARD / T.J. SIMERS : Truth in Bending

B+: QUARTERBACKS

In all honesty, why sure, George Bush will cut taxes and Chargers never doubted Bob Gagliano. Only reason they traded for Stan Humphries was to remind everyone what Billy Joe Tolliver looked like.

B+: RUNNING BACKS

In all honesty, there are two things you can bank on when you go to a Charger game: 1) Marion Butts is going to run the ball; 2)The Navy Leap Frogs are going to drop in

B: RECEIVERS

In all honesty, you can’t expect Nate Lewis and Anthony Miller to catch every pass thrown their way. Come on, they’re no worse than the Dodgers’ best infielder.

B: OFFENSIVE LINE

In all honesty, you take into consideration the 49ers’ pass rush and you would expect these guys to have as many problems as Woody and Mia. But remember, it’s a night of surprises.

B+: DEFENSIVE LINE

In all honesty, at first it looked like Chris Mims was auditioning for Dan’s easy-chair role in the Dave & Dan commercials, but now it looks as if he’s going to be a competitor.

A: LINEBACKERS

In all honesty, the Chargers should have their heads examined for playing Junior Seau in the third quarter. What happened to this idea of taking a look at different people?

B+: DEFENSIVE BACKS

In all honesty it should be pointed out that if you pay $30 to sit with a Charger player at this week’s Kickoff Luncheon, it counts if you draw Donald Frank.

F: SPECIAL TEAMS

Just like old times. In all honesty, a charitable John Carney has not dedicated himself to winning Carlos Huerta full-time employment as the Chargers’ kicker. Ditto John Kidd.

B: COACHING

Trust me: Any minute now Bobby Ross is going to rip off that mask to reveal Dan Henning is still calling the shots for the Chargers.