Slim as It May Be, the Bills Do Have Hope

Thought for the day:

“Those were probably the two worst days of my life.”

Buffalo Bills defensive end

Bruce Smith, on Super Bowls

XXV and XXVI.

*

And some others as Bruce Smith prepares for Super Bowl XXVII and probably the third worst day of his life. . . .

Buff-a-low Qualifies For Its Third Consecutive Super Bowl Appearance. How Does This Happen? Who’s To Be Held Accountable?

1. Pete Rozelle. “The Super Bowl tournament will be enhanced if we add a couple of wild-card teams. Trust me.”

2. The Houston Oilers. With time, perhaps, we will forget that they blew a 35-3 third-quarter lead to Buffalo in the first round. But we will never forgive.

3. The Miami Dolphins. They had the home field. They had a dry field. They had Dan Marino. They had beaten Buffalo, in Buffalo, by 27 points in October. So what were they doing out there Sunday afternoon, standing around on the Joe Robbie grass? Waiting and hoping to see if the Chargers would show up?

4. The rest of the AFC. They succeeded in keeping Denver out of the playoffs, then everybody relaxed.

Why NBC Hired John Elway As An Analyst For Sunday’s AFC Championship Game:

Before Buffalo, no one has ever had the opportunity to lose three Super Bowls in three years. Elway lost three Super Bowls in four years, though, and NBC was looking for an expert commentator.

Ralph Wilson For President:

In accepting the AFC championship trophy, Bills owner Ralph Wilson spoke of family and wanting to break the award into 47 little pieces but made no mention of going out and bringing the Vince Lombardi Trophy back to Buffalo.

Unlike Bill Clinton, he wasn’t going to make any campaign promises he wouldn’t keep.

Slim As It Is, Hope For Buffalo:

Buffalo beat the Rams, 40-7.

The Rams beat Dallas, 27-23.

Therefore . . . Buffalo by 37 over Dallas?

Sorry. The Rams also beat the New York Jets, 18-10, and the Jets beat the Bills, 24-17, in early December.

Therefore . . . the Los Angeles Rams, National Football League Champions, 1992.

About That 4-0 Record Buffalo Had Against the NFC This Season:

The Bills beat San Francisco by a field goal, in a shootout, on the second Sunday of the season, before the 49ers had decided on their starting tailback and, really, as they still were deciding who should be their starting quarterback.

The Bills beat New Orleans, by four points, on the next-to-last weekend of the regular season, when the Bills were still vying for a division title and the Saints were assured nothing but a wild card, win, lose or draw.

The Bills also beat Atlanta by 27 points and the Rams by 33 points. In other words, the Bills made good use of their extra bye weeks.

Wake Us Up In January, 1995:

In 1989, the Dallas Cowboys lost 15 of 16 games.

In 1990, they finished 7-9.

In 1991, they reached the second round of the NFC playoffs.

In 1992, on to the Super Bowl.

Fade out, fade in to Anaheim.

In 1991, the Rams lost 13 of 16 games.

In 1992, they finished 6-10, but would have been 7-9 if Cleveland Gary had fumbled only once against Phoenix.

As for 1993, 1994?

If the Rams want a timetable, there it is.

Gentlemen, starting signing those free agents.

Why Can’t They Win The Big One Up There?

San Francisco has hosted two of the last three NFC title games and has lost them both.

The One Man Steve Young Can’t Scramble Away From:

“Joe would have pulled this one out.”

“Joe never lost to Dallas in the conference championship game.”

“Joe would have put 40 points up on the board, at least . . . and he would have tackled Emmitt Smith, too.”

The ringing in Steve Young’s ears has only begun, and if he wishes to have a happy and prosperous off-season, he will immediately cancel his newspaper subscription, unplug the cable, yank the car radio out of his dashboard and promptly record the following message for the most valuable piece of equipment in his household, the phone answering machine:

“Hi, this is Steve. I’m not in right now. Yes, I am aware that Joe went 4-0 in Super Bowls and I am 1-1 in NFC playoff games. Yes, I know that by comparison to Montana-to-Clark, Young-to-Ken Norton and Young-to-James Washington pales a bit.

“I also know that I didn’t fumble at our own 39 midway through the second quarter, killing all momentum we might have had while setting up Dallas’ first touchdown. You’ll have to reach Ricky Watters about that. And I did not slip while covering Alvin Harper on that slant pattern after we had cut the deficit to four and needed just one big defensive stand to turn the game around. Don Griffin’s number, I believe, is in the book.

“If you’re calling on behalf of the San Francisco 49ers’ front office, please submit all contract offers to Leigh Steinberg. And if you’d rather be quarterbacked next year by a 37-year-old with a history of back and arm problems, please leave a message. I’ll get back to you from Kansas City or Minnesota or Los Angeles or wherever they happen to throw the most millions of dollars at me.

“Later.”

Most-Asked Questions In Pasadena Come Super Bowl Week:

1. “Who are you going to start at quarterback, Marv?”

2. “Do they teach that kind of language in the English masters program at Harvard, Marv?”

3. “Where’s Thurman’s helmet?”

4. “Where’s Scott Norwood?”

5. “Where do the Cowboys want us to stack this shipment of Dom Perignon?”