Continental Survival

Just when you think you’re tired of traveling, of hassling with a strange language, different culture, whining kids, you walk onto a plaza like the one in Pisa, Italy, with the late afternoon Tuscan sun shining on it, and your heart almost stops. On the afternoon we were there, the crowds had gone home for the day and we had the place almost to ourselves. My family and I were mesmerized by it.

This is about traveling to Europe with children. Some would say that’s a scary proposition, but truly, it is doable, and in fact, enjoyable. When my husband, Jim, and I took our two boys, James and Spencer, then ages 11 and 8, on a six-week vacation to Europe, we had lived overseas for seven years--first in Australia, then England--and we saw it as an ideal opportunity for an extended trip in Europe before we moved back to the States.

After many family discussions around the kitchen table strewn with maps of Europe, we decided to rent holiday houses: a beach house on the Atlantic coast of Spain, an old farmhouse in the Languedoc region of France (next to Provence, but not as crowded), and a Tuscan farmhouse near Florence. We stayed a week in each place, with a week or so of driving in between.

What follows is part anecdotal, part parental common sense and part advice born of experience.

Food

I remember a lovely, warm evening we spent walking around Aix-en-Provence, that small city in southern France with the charming little shops in the old streets. We’d had a big lunch, but by evening the boys wanted a snack. We stopped on a street corner, where a kiosk was selling slices of pizza, and the boys stood there and ate their pizza while we all marveled at the beautiful old plane trees and pretty fountains. Farther down the street, we had an ice cream from a vendor. A perfect evening of “fast food.”

During all our overseas travels, our main rule regarding food has been to avoid American fast-food restaurants, despite their plentiful availability. On this trip, we kept this oath, despite considerable pressure from the boys, and at times, our own exhaustion.

As for sit-down meals, good quality and fairly priced casual restaurants are everywhere in Europe, from pubs in England and trattorie in Italy, to bistros in France, to name a few. They always welcome children, and in contrast to family restaurants in the U.S. where there is a lowest-common-denominator philosophy to food preparation, in Europe, the quality of food is equally good for children and adults.

Shopping in the local villages and preparing our own food was fun when we were in the rental houses, and provided welcome home cooking breaks. In Spain, the village we stayed in translated into “The Tunas,” so we grilled fresh fish, made huge salads, and ate lots of locally baked bread. Nearby was an ice cream shop that the boys safely walked to on their own in the evenings. Meanwhile, Jim and I sat on the terrace of our beach house, drinking local Spanish wine, enjoying the view of the Atlantic Ocean, with Cape Trafalgar to the north and the tip of North Africa to the south.

When we were on the road, we often had our evening meal in the hotel or inn where we were staying. This is a good idea for several reasons: First, in France especially, the country inns have a generally high standard of cooking. Second, it eliminates the need to look for a restaurant after a long day of touring. And finally, eating at the inn is a good way for everyone to unwind. Our boys often finished their meals and went to their own room to play or watch TV (if there was one; they got a kick out of watching “The Simpsons” in a foreign language), so Jim and I had some time to ourselves.

In Italy, when we were on the road, on the Autostrada, we quickly discovered that for a coffee break the Autogrills are one of the best deals going. In small towns and villages, or in the big cities, we had our midmorning coffee, and the boys had delicious hot chocolate made with steamed milk from enormous, brightly polished espresso machines. We loved the drama that went along with making a cup of coffee. Even at the Autogrills, out in the middle of nowhere, off the freeway, there would be a handsome young man in a white shirt and black pants, seemingly dancing behind the bar, gracefully turning on his feet, handling several espresso cups at a time.

Then in the afternoon, our gelati break. One of my fondest memories is, after we had been in Italy for a couple of weeks, and had learned the gelati ordering ritual, 8-year-old Spencer, ever the independent child, marching into a gelateria in Siena and ordering, in a perfect accent. “Due mille lire gelati citrone, per favore. Grazie signor, ciao.”

Sightseeing

Go to places children can go in and out of, run around in, explore safely on their own. And being larger than life is captivating as well. Our boys came to love bell towers and occasionally, if Jim and I were not in the mood to climb another 400 steps up a tower (although it’s a great workout!), we were confident enough in James’ and Spencer’s judgment that we would let them go up alone, while we sat and had a coffee at a nearby cafe. One word of caution though: Most of Europe does not have the liability worries of America. Safety measures in an old building or tower tend to be no more than a single chain across an opening, so know your children’s judgment or lack thereof.

Surprisingly, perhaps, children seem to be intrigued by most facets of medieval life. In addition to bell towers, our boys loved castles. We splurged once and stayed in a carefully renovated 12th century castle in Spain that the boys adored, exploring the common rooms, the enormous courtyard with steps leading nowhere, and the hilly area around.

The boys also were fascinated with cathedrals--I think, because of their sheer size. But cathedrals in general are not places to linger with children. They’re first and foremost places of worship. The sound and site of a running, yelping 8-year-old in a 14th century cathedral is not fair to fellow visitors.

By contrast, exploring the medieval French and Italian villages and cities was a constant delight. The boys were in and out of, up and down tiny alleys and streets that no cars could drive through. Assisi, Italy, home of St. Francis and his birds, with its extraordinary basilica, hilly little rabbit warren of streets, and beautiful views of the ancient Etruscan countryside, comes to mind as a perfect small medieval town that we all enjoyed.

Art museums, like cathedrals, are not for lingering stays with children, but ruins are tailor-made for them--how clever of those Greeks and Romans and Moors! Ruins, like the villages and castles and bell towers I’ve mentioned, provide children with a chance to be children, that is, to be engaged in some physical activity. For the most part, children can run and explore to their heart’s content among the ruins. They’re usually quite large and children can’t harm them, certainly not more than time and the elements. The coliseum in Ni^mes, France, is worth mentioning because it is less crowded and in much better condition than the Roman original.

Another favorite ruin was Paestum, just south of Naples. It is little known and uncrowded. At Paestum you find three very large Greek temples (sort of mini-Parthenons) sitting all by themselves out in an enormous field among poppies and pomegranate trees.

Other fun sightseeing things include: chairlift rides--if you’re in the Alps in the summer (and they span four countries), ride on the chairlifts that are used in the winter for skiing. And boat rides--from small boat rides on the Thames near Hampton Court, to the big Bateaux Mouches rides on the Seine in Paris, to the big ferries carrying cars and passengers across the Irish Sea or the English Channel, our boys never tired of being on the water. And since most European cities’ histories evolved from their rivers, a tour boat ride is an enjoyable learning experience and one of the best bargains in Europe.

Transportation

Go by car. In a car, children feel that there is a bit of home with them, and they have room to store a few toys, souvenirs, travel games, books. In my younger days, I traveled extensively through Europe, mainly by train, and sometimes by thumb. But for obvious reasons, if you want to cover a bit of ground, the automobile offers flexibility, convenience and comfort, all of which are necessary with children.

One bit of advice: Avoid driving in the big cities. We stayed outside and used local trains to go in for day trips. The kids loved the train rides, usually no more than half an hour, and they provided the chance to experience the unique flavor and excitement of major European train stations.

Accommodations

Make sure you have a place to stay every night. I know I said to stay flexible, but not when it comes to daily accommodations, particularly during the summer in Europe (and especially in August).

A bit of advice on more mundane things relating to accommodation: one big room or two? When your children are little, you can usually get by with one big room, and an extra bed and/or crib. But given our boys’ ages, we had decided ahead of time to budget for them to have their own room.

The most obvious of reasons is privacy, but also when you’ve been traveling in the confines of a car, the adults and children need that space at the end of the day. And if at all possible, try to stay in local inns and small hotels. They are no more expensive than chains and much more pleasant. They often are located in villages, and are usually run by husband and wife teams, who are almost always friendly, hospitable and efficient. A stay at a local inn also can provide a window on the local culture that often is missing in a larger hotel.

Other than that, renting a house or an apartment is by far the best bargain. Our French farmhouse was less than $400 for a week; our beach house in Spain, which was enormous and right on the water, was less than $600 for the week. If this sounds like a lot, remember that many accommodations in Western Europe are at least $100 per night, and prices vary a lot based on the time of year. Again, plan well ahead. If you’re looking at a summer rental, start talking to your travel agent in January.

Practical Information

Western Europe is not a bargain. Almost everything costs more than in America, and certainly more than what it cost 20 years ago in Europe. If you went to Europe in the ‘60s and ‘70s with a backpack, a round-trip ticket and a few hundred dollars, put that in your nostalgia file.

Depending upon the country, gasoline is two to three times what it costs in the States (and don’t forget the toll roads and bridges). On the Continent, most major highways (that is, those with more than two lanes) charge. If you have the time, try to take back roads--you see more of the real countryside, and there are no tolls.

Of the European countries we have been to recently, Italy is probably the most expensive (notwithstanding the availability of inexpensive food), and Norway a close second. Naturally, smaller towns are cheaper than the big cities. So how to minimize the expenditures? Do your homework and read everything you can about the countries you decide to go to. Plan ahead, and try to pay for as much as you can before you leave. You will pay dearly for spontaneity.

In our travels over the past decade with our children, we have always made use of baby sitters. It’s important to budget a night out with your spouse at a nice restaurant. Most hotels have a list of reliable people whom they will call for you. We have never had a problem with anyone. In fact, a real bonus when traveling with children in Europe is that, with the exception of England--which has the same general attitude toward children that America has, namely, they should be seen and not heard--the Europeans love children.

If you have a baby, so much the better. When James was 18 months old, we traveled through France with him, and he was continually fawned over. It’s a wonderful icebreaker for getting to know the locals. Even on this last trip, with the boys much older, they were smiled at indulgently, their hair was ruffled, their presence gladly accepted, with little murmurs of endearment in the local language.

If I could give only one piece of advice it would be to stay flexible within the confines of all your planning. By this I mean that you will probably go to Europe with the idea of certain things you really want to see, and, if you’ve been before when you were young, certain favorites you want your children to see. But don’t drive yourself and your family nuts by trying to fit everything in.

As we told our children, waving farewell to France as we stood on the ferry deck at Calais to return to England, you will have your whole life to come back to Europe. (Besides, we all threw coins in the Trevi Fountain!)