Advertisement

No sleep

Each word is taken from the vanity plate master list issued by the DMV*

*

TEN32 PM: EARLEY 2BED, 4ONCE.

IMSPENT, XHAUSTD. YOOHOOO,

MORFEUS! TAKE ME, IMURS.

*

TEN33: CARALRM.

*

TEN50: DAMCATS.

*

ELEVN11: IDONT1A LISN2 MIII NAYBOR PRAKTIS HIZZ 1ORSAX RITENOW. BUTIDO.

*

ELEVN54: PEECE ATLAAZT. IDO DRIFTE OFF.

*

12OH5 AM: THEFONE! WRONGNO!

AHHCMON. DOI SSOUND LYKE EVALIN?

*

TWELVE 37: 2SLEEP. PRCHNCE

2DREEAM. ZZZZ.

*

12 38: IMNOT EVALYN! IAMNOT EVLYN!

*

ONE12: FLYNLOH AND LOUD, DIS KOPP HELCPTR WIL CIRCLL MIII STREETE FORRRE 58 ENDLSS MINITZ. OGODPLZ MAKEM STOP!

*

TWO41: DUH COUPLE BELOW DYD JUST FINISH MAKIN LLOVE. TIS SUMMERR, WINDOZ STAY OPEN, ANDD IHEARD ALL: GDTHNG WERLIVN INNN KAL4NIA, THOZII COUDBE ARESTED IN SUM SOUTHRN STATES.

*

THREE18: DRIPN FAUCETT.

*

THREE56: ALLALNE, NDADARK, SLEEPLS, IDOIDO LOOK N2 THEVOID. WTSLIFE? YMIHEER? YDOITRI? WTSDPNT? WTZ4DNR?

Advertisement

*

FOUR26: NNO, IAMIAM

NOTT EVELYNS DADDD!

*

5TEN: 1STLITE. THEBYRD CHORUS BEGINS.

*

SIX07: OVER ABIGGE BOWL OF HOTTT MUSHH ISTART 2WONDA WUT CANI LEARNN FROM MI TRBULNT NYTE. THISS: GIVEUP. SURRNDER. BEVELYN. YESYESS! ZE PHONE RINGS. IMXCYTD. “OHELLO,’ SEZME, “ZISIS EVVIE. CNIHEPU?

*For translation of PL8SPK, please see Page 25.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC))

(Translation of PL8SPK, Page 7

No Sleep

*

10:32 p.m.: Early to bed, for once. I’m spent, exhausted. Yoo-hoo, Morpheus! Take me, I’m yours.

10:33: Car alarm.

10:50: Damn cats.

11:11: I don’t want to listen to my neighbor practice his tenor sax right now. But I do.

11:54: Peace at last. I drift off.

12:05 a.m.: The phone! Wrong number! Ahh, c’mon. Do I sound like Evelyn?

12:37: To sleep. Perchance to dream. Zzz.

12:38: I’m not Evelyn! I am not Evelyn!

1:12 Flying low and loud, this cop helicopter will circle my street for 58 endless minutes. Oh God, please make them stop!

Advertisement

2:41: The couple below did just finish making love. It’s summer, windows stay open, and I heard all: Good thing we’re living in California, those two could be arrested in some Southern states.

3:18: Dripping faucet.

3:56: All alone, in the dark, sleepless, I look into the void.

What is life? Why am I here? Why do I try? What’s the point? What’s for dinner?

4:26: No, I am not Evelyn’s dad!

5:10: First light. The bird chorus begins.

6:07: Over a big bowl of hot mush, I start to wonder what can I learn from my turbulent night.

This: Give up. Surrender. Be Evelyn! Yes, yes! The phone rings. I’m excited. “Oh, hello,’ says me, “this is Evvie. Can I help you?’

Advertisement
Advertisement