Haven’t Had Your Fill of Impeachment?

For anyone who hadn’t digested enough scandal news out of Washington, D.C., Maxwell’s Cafe served Impeachment Pie the other day. “It was just a little conversation starter,” said manager Nathan Van Amburg. “We sold a lot of it.” Van Amburg says that several customers reacted by laughing, but no one protested. Oddly enough, the Westside cafe didn’t serve it a la mode. I would think that Impeachment Pie would go well with Rocky Road ice cream.

*

HOORAY FOR . . . HUH? Like new automobiles, freeway signs occasionally have to be recalled because of defects, as was the case with a spelling-challenged guidepost on the 101 (see photo).

*

‘98 IN REVIEW: Continuing our retrospective of this year, Only in L.A. brings you a strange “price break” that Carl Green of Lomita spotted at midyear (see accompanying).

*

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIANS ON THE ROAD: While in the Midwest, Steve Schinnerer of Santa Barbara came upon one of the scariest restroom signs I’ve ever seen (see photo).

*

VENGEANCE ON THE LIVING-ROOM FLOOR: A friend gave my 5-year-old son a car made by El Segundo-based Mattel that performs “the wildest twisting stunts ever” as well as “turbo tornado wheelies” and “bruising back-flips.” Name of the product: “Tantrum.” Well, he might as well learn about road rage at an early age!

*

DOES GIL GARCETTI KNOW ABOUT THIS? This seems like the perfect gift for a district attorney who has trouble winning the big cases. It’s called “The Voodoo Kit” and it comes with a handbook (publisher: Running Press) explaining why the pin-treatment approach is more efficient than the courtroom. “Don’t ever use the modern American jury system as a model for justice,” the handbook says, “particularly if you’re in California.”

*

STILL ON THE CHRISTMAS-GIFT BEAT: Entertainer Phil Proctor received what he calls “the ultimate L.A. gift”--a plastic dashboard figure in the shape of an angel. When wound up, she flaps her wings. Her name: “The Parking Space Goddess.” The motorist’s charm came with this poem:

Goddess, I bless you and keep you

On my dashboard at all times.

I know that you will bless me too

As I gather my quarters and dimes.

Past the pay lot and reserved places,

You are scoping the street for me,

Watching for wide-open spaces,

Not far from where I want to be.

I wind you up, you flap your wings

In a holy mechanized arc.

I know not how you do these things

But please find me a place to park.

I’d take along a Voodoo Doll kit just to be safe.

miscelLAny:

While trampling L.A., the title star of “Mighty Joe Young” hangs from the first O in the Hollywood Sign. Perhaps it’s the big ape’s way of reminding sign-makers how to spell the name.

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.