SALT MINES

What papers in the Salt Lake City area are saying about the series:

DOUG ROBINSON, DESERET NEWS

As your friendly neighborhood columnist, I’d love to tell you what Karl Malone was talking about the other day when he sounded off on radio and TV in a 12-hour binge of self-confession, but I don’t have a clue. . . .

“As much as some of you guys might not like it, how is Karl Malone supposed to feel?” said Karl Malone.

“When I feel good, I play good. Really, that’s the bottom line. It’s not really how Karl Malone feels.”

How does Doug Robinson feel? Dizzy. Pass me the Dramamine. We can’t keep talking in circles like this and referring to ourselves in the third person, because Doug Robinson is losing his sense of balance and identity.

Let’s start with what we know: Karl Malone has something he’s trying to say. I think. He’s unhappy and may leave the Jazz if the team doesn’t do something for him. After that, all we get are hints. Something about rain and Portland and wanting to hear from someone this summer, but not teammates or coaches.

“Someone higher up than that,” he said.

Ah, he’s religious.

“It has nothing to do with money,” he said.

Is it short and round and sits on the front row? (I think we’re playing Twenty Questions.)

“This is Karl Malone saying what he thinks,” Karl Malone said.

Could you say it better?

WHAT . . . EXACTLY . . . DO . . . YOU . . . WANT?

“You wouldn’t understand if I told you.”

Try us. We went to college.

“Those who need to know what I mean know what I mean.”

Are you sure?