TNT’s ‘Witchblade’ Is Enigma Wrapped in a Comic Book
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Some comic-book treatments work very nicely, such as the stylish and entertaining “X-Men.” Others do not, like the lackluster “Witchblade,” a TNT action flick about a sought-after weapon with supernatural powers.
Shamelessly aping visuals from “The Matrix,” this tedious effort, which can be seen Sunday, centers on Sara Pezzini (Yancy Butler), a surly New York police detective who sets out to avenge the murders of her father and best friend.
At one point, Pezzini asks the sinister Kenneth Irons (Anthony Cistaro) to describe the ancient artifact, a bracelet transformed into a metallic shield when worn by the Right Woman. In his words: “It’s a mystery wrapped in a riddle and cloaked in a conundrum.”
Hey, thanks for clearing that up, pal.
But wait, there’s more. “It has many powers, but only the person that holds it can feel them,” the smarmy Irons adds. “You were destined to wear it. Use it or lose it.”
And use it she does as the acrobatic Pezzini sails through the air (with an assist from stop-motion and slow-motion photography), deflecting bullet after bullet fired in her direction, emerging with nary a scratch.
In other illogical sequences, Pezzini shoots up a stately museum (which then is blown to bits, though the cops couldn’t care less); talks to the ghost of her murdered partner (William Yun Lee) and is shaken by bizarre dreams involving a gauntlet of guys attempting to pummel her.
She’s also shadowed by a bearded guy (Eric Etebari) in a dark wool cap who, in an ominous tone, utters the simple words: “Forewarned. Forearmed.”
No one in the cast makes much of an impression, including the brittle Butler, who grimaces a lot.
Perhaps TNT thought it had a potential franchise with the character, which would have enabled it to supply clarity in subsequent stories.
If that was the intent for writer J.D. Zeik and director Ralph Hemecker, we have two words for viewers: “Forewarned. Forearmed.”
* “Witchblade” can be seen Sunday at 8 p.m., 10 p.m. and midnight. The network has rated it TV-14 LV (may be unsuitable for children under age 14, with advisories for coarse language and violence).
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