Establishing Who’s in the Driver’s Seat

The following law is herewith proposed:

That before any teenager of any species be granted license to drive in any state, he or she must pass the following test, which shall be administered and graded by his or her said parents, who shall have the final say in any and all disputes and determine what shall constitute a satisfactory or unsatisfactory score.

General

Who owns the family car?

Who does not own the family car?

If there is a scheduling conflict, who always gets to drive the family car?

Can you think of any circumstances in which your parents should have access to the family car on a Saturday night?

Define the word scratch.

Define the word dent.

Trick Questions

If you are supposed to be home by 11 p.m., what time do you have to be home?

When is it inappropriate to purchase gas with your own money?

True or False

Speed limit signs are only advisory.

High mileage increases a car’s value.

It is more important to make eye contact with your friends than the $50,000 car in front of you.

Accidents don’t affect insurance rates.

Your mother is a good driver because she can apply makeup while in motion.

Multiple choice

If the car lacks this, it will not run:

1. Gas.

2. A CD player.

If the car is making a strange sound, you should:

1. Bring it right home but not tell anyone.

2. Turn up the radio.

Essay

You are driving down the road when the car in front of you stops suddenly. You have time to do only one of the following two things: hit the brakes or change the station to get rid of a really icky song that has just come on. What do you do?