THE TIMES’ RANKINGS

Chris Dufresne’s Top 25 College Rankings and Comments

Rk School (Record) Comment

1 Miami (9-0) Big 59-0 victory against Syracuse proves once again that Miami is really good and the Big East is really not.

2 Nebraska (11-0) OK, Huskers, in the key of G: “Over the river and through the woods, to Colorado’s house we go.”

3 Florida (9-1) That Spurrier yarn about Florida State trying to injure his players is a real knee twister, er, slapper.

4 Oklahoma (10-1) Rose Bowl orders 1,000 copies of “The Grapes of Wrath” just in case team wins Big 12 title and heads west in droves.

5 Oregon (9-1) Workers grumble about having to clean up after Fiesta Bowl-clinching victory in Coach Mike Bellotti’s living room.

6 Texas (9-1) lt appears the Longhorns are Sugar Bowl bound, pending Bevo’s hoof-print on the legal documents.

7 Stanford (7-2) Pound for pound, is there a better team destined for a more mediocre bowl?

8 Maryland (10-1) Coach asks someone to “pinch him” to see if dream season is real; no one takes him up on the offer

9 Tennessee (8-1) Volunteers treading BCS water until their big sink-or-swim Dec. 1 game at Florida.

10 Brigham Young (11-0) Consecutive comeback victories have kept Mormon Tabernacle Choir on the edge of its seat.

11 Illinois (9-1) Unlike the opposing quarterback, Illinois was able to walk a straight line over Ohio State.

12 Washington (8-2) School decides not to boat to Miami game because of possible slow-downs through the Panama Canal.

13 Michigan (8-2) Child of ‘60s Carr shows team cuts from “The Big Chill” to get ready for Ohio State.

14 Washington State (9-2) Red-zone play-calling against Washington appears to be lifted from “The Twilight Zone.”

15 Colorado (8-2) Team plans to welcome Nebraska on Friday with open arms and a few well-placed snow balls.

16 Virginia Tech (8-2) Players spend off weekend fortifying Lane Stadium with sand bags for Dec. 1 arrival of Hurricanes.

17 South Carolina (8-3) Holtz calls win against rival Clemson biggest win since that year he really had to beat Navy.

18 Louisville (10-1) With bowl cinched, school’s financial office removes placard “Give me Liberty or give me debt.”

19 Fresno State (9-2) To save money on long drive to Silicon Valley Bowl, school offers to pick up UCLA in Visalia.

20 Marshall (9-1) After several trips to the Motor City Bowl, ‘Herd switches gears and heads south to GMAC Bowl in Mobile, Ala.

21 Georgia (6-3) Judge orders fan who halted air traffic at Atlanta Airport to follow Uga around with a pooper-scooper.

22 Arkansas (7-3) To paraphrase the great Yosemite Sam, “How in tar-nation did the Razorbacks ever get back in the SEC race?”

23 Georgia Tech (7-3) Two more victories could put Yellow Jackets in the Gator Bowl but, thankfully, not against the Gators.

24 Florida State (6-4) Rankman tried to type FSU out of the top 25, but his fingers just couldn’t do it.

25 Syracuse (8-3) Efforts to “contract” this week’s top 25 to a top 20 halted by nosey Minnesota judge.