A School Jersey Just Doesn’t Cut It Anymore

President Bush doesn’t surf and for that the nation can consider itself fortunate, because he now has not only a new surfboard but also some Speedo swimwear.

Bush received both gifts -- and many others -- Tuesday as he honored 15 college championship teams at the White House.

The board, presented by the Pepperdine men’s volleyball team, will from now on be referred to as “Surfboard One.”

The Speedo, a gift from the Auburn men’s swimming and diving team, is something Bush said he would never wear -- “In public, that is.”

The UCLA men’s and women’s water polo and men’s tennis teams were also honored, as were Georgia men’s golf, women’s swimming and diving and women’s gymnastics; Northwestern women’s lacrosse; Michigan softball; Stanford women’s tennis; Minnesota women’s hockey; Duke women’s golf; Johns Hopkins men’s lacrosse and Oklahoma men’s gymnastics.

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Trivia time: Two Milwaukee Brave rookies hit their first major league home runs on April 23, 1954. Hank Aaron hit 754 more. Who was the other player and how many did he hit?

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Food for thought: Youth soccer players, if you’re thinking ahead to a lucrative career in Major League Soccer, think again. You might be better off working at the corner fast-food joint. According to the New York Times, 26% of the 331 MLS players earn less than $20,000 a year in base salary.

The newspaper obtained salary records that showed that, although some players are doing well -- Landon Donovan is highest paid at $900,000 a year -- others are not. Only 15 make $200,000 or more and 143 make less than $30,000.

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Tough as nails? Terry Vaughn of the Canadian Football League’s Montreal Alouettes had nails on both big toes removed as treatment for a fungal infection. He described the experience in the Edmonton Journal: “Back in the late 1800s, early 1900s, having your toenails ripped off was a form of torture. I can say, firsthand, that it works.”

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Off-base: Torii Hunter of the Minnesota Twins couldn’t resist playing a joke on teammate Brad Radke.

According to the Indianapolis Star, Hunter put in Radke’s locker what looked to be an official note from the Dodgers’ Hee-Seop Choi, requesting that Radke come to the All-Star game and pitch for Choi in the home run derby.

Choi hit three homers against Radke last month.

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Tough greens: Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, to those trying to protect the integrity of the Masters and British Open by lengthening some of the holes: “A suggestion to save land and money: Keep the distances but shrink the holes. Cut the actual holes smaller. Put some pucker in those two-foot putts.”

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Trivia answer: Charlie White, who hit no other home runs.

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And finally: From Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel: “I’m not saying the NHL owners are on the verge of crushing the players’ solidarity, but I believe the final words from union leader Bob Goodenow’s mouth during the last negotiating session were, ‘Yes sir, Mr. Bettman, and what would you like in that coffee?’ ”